How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
