it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
