You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
