it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
BRING THE BAGELS
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
