you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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