what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
