Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
