He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
