I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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