Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
