Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
