No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
