I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
