I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
