worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
