When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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