We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
