Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
