I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
