fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
