Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
