Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
