Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
