I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
