I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
