He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
