shes about as inviting as chlamydia
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
