Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
