Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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