btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
