What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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