The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
