Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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