Nicole vs. Life
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
