all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
