summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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