Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize