There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
