I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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