i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
