Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
time to smoke my breakfast
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
