My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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