wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We're too hungover to prance.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
