I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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