He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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