just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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