can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
