I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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