My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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