we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
