Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
