i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize