OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize