it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
