I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize