You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize