Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
