remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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