Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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