Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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